I fell ill on 12 December 2025. It was strange - it didn’t feel like a cold, and I had no cough. I had an insane headache like I’d never had before, and I couldn’t eat anything. During that first week, I had no idea what I was suffering from. If I did force myself to eat three teaspoonfuls of rice, I couldn’t keep it down.

By the end of the week, I had lost two and a half kilos. I slept and slept, sometimes for 16 hours out of 24. It was the lack of energy that was most debilitating, along with the headache. Sometimes I needed two hours to get out of bed in the morning to fetch a glass of water. When I did manage to get upright, my pulse soared, and dizziness swept me - so I sat down again and waited. I had a temperature, and I was freezing from deep inside. I contacted my GP after a week in this state and told him I was feeling awful; he visited me shortly later at home and diagnosed pneumonia.

A couple of days after my doctor’s visit, I was admitted to hospital where they worked out which antibiotic would be right for me. They were caring, and mindful, and patient and not at all stressed out. Which surprised me; it was heartwarming.

Gradually, during the second week, and as the antibiotics started working, I sensed an improvement but still could not eat anything. And so I slept, and lay, and sat and breathed, minute for minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week.

I was very ill for four weeks, and ‘just’ ill for a further two. I was too weak to read, I had no concentration. I couldn’t watch a film - no concentration. A few friends visited me, keeping a healthy distance, but after 15 minutes, their presence exhausted me too. Even answering a WhatsApp message was too much. 

Last week, the first week of February 2026, was the first since that fateful second December week without exhaustion. I restarted work, and it was like coming home. I haven’t been that ill for 50 years. When I was 17, I had glandular fever - so now you all know how old I am ;-)

My experience of the deep Olive state, an all-encompassing tiredness in every single cell of my body, has made me put self-care at the top of my to-do list. I’ve got my Vervain streak under control at last; no starting new projects. My Impatiens-speedy Gonzales personality is currently deactivated. (We’ll see how long that lasts.) I have become more aware of the Oak part of my personality, which means I plod on regardless. (Others would have contacted their doctor after three days of feeling so awful.)

I’ve discovered a way of working ‘organically’ – meaning only doing what I really want to do and not what my sense of duty says I should do. An example of what that means: I’ve been planning to write this piece about my experience of illness for at least four weeks. I’ve closely observed the Achiever part of my personality, who eggs me on, and I’ve said ‘no’ to her - repeatedly.

Today I just wanted to write, and the time was right, at last.

The days are getting longer, and the long, dark, drab, freezing cold winter is receding. I’m going to enjoy spring.