Most of you reading this will have attended large Zoom meetings and know there is a mute button. It can be used to switch people off who are talking out of turn, too much, or are off-topic. Now wouldn’t this be fantastic if there were a mute button for ‘the people of many words’? Those people, known within the Bach flower community simply as “Heather”.
The Heather state means someone has a strong need to communicate what’s on their mind or share in great detail their experiences - or (worst case!) both. There is little sensitivity for the people they are talking to, or should I say talking at.
Little children in a Heather state are natural and healthy. They may come home from kindergarten or school bubbling with excitement about what happened, and their need to share with people close to them is a sign that they trust their attachment figures.
However, when adults talk and talk and talk, and are solely focused on themselves, they hinder interaction and negatively impact their relationships with other people. For this reason, Edward Bach put Heather in the loneliness group. In some ways, the Heather state is a childish state.
Recently, I met someone for the first time. I soon noticed how her narrative only had to do with herself, and that she did not play the ball back to me, having told me in detail about her life. The most fatal thing you can do when with a Heather person is to ask an empathetic question. So my skills as a practitioner, meaning trying to understand how someone feels, were counter-productive. More barrage came my way as a result of my questions. Soon, I was bemused, overwhelmed, and a bit numb. I withdrew.
Theory of Mind (ToM) seems to be ‘thin’ in Heather people. ToM means the cognitive ability to understand and attribute desires, intentions, beliefs, and emotions to oneself and others. ToM helps us predict and explain behaviour in social situations. Hence, ToM is a fundamental cognitive skill (often unconscious) which is crucial for social interaction. It enables effective communication, it facilitates relationship building, cooperation, and optimally navigating complex social dynamics. ToM allows you to grasp that others have their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives, which may differ from yours.
Apparently, it can develop quite early. I took my eldest grandson to the swimming pool a while back. As I fastened him into his car seat, I gently said he may ask “ARE WE NEARLY THERE?” a maximum of 3 times. (He has no qualms asking that question once a minute in the car, so that was my ToM being able to judge where he potentially is.) He went very quiet. After about 10 minutes, he said clearly, ‘I’m just asking myself if we’re nearly there.’ I had a good laugh; but what emotional intelligence that change of perspective, from himself to me, demonstrated. He’s five years old.
It doesn’t feel natural to me to ‘set boundaries’ early on in an interaction with a Heather person, or to force myself into the conversation to try to keep things more balanced. Chatting recently with my friend and colleague Lesley Cooke on this topic, she shared that she loses the will to talk when encountering a Heather person.
I still have not found a solution when dealing with ‘Heather’. I suspect the answer lies in gently confronting someone early in the interaction and pointing out ‘that is very interesting what you have to say (a white lie) but I also have the need to share a little bit.’ It’s work in progress; I have no solution – as yet. How do you navigate Heather people? Please tell me in the comments.
My book about the Bach flower remedies: One Person’s Journey.
My family research book: The Unspeakable.








The backdrop to all this is the climate crisis. (Remember the sizzling hot summer, the fires and drought?) Strangely, I perceive climate breakdown as even more threatening than the war, but it is getting the least attention because of the other crises. (And it’s not as if Corona has gone away.) Unexpectedly, Putin is accelerating the transformation to carbon-free energy resources as the West frees itself from Russia’s fossil energy. That is a weird positive aspect of the war.





UK today differs from that 100 years ago when a period of strict rest for women was normal and issues such as postpartum depression, (while mood changes must have also existed), had not yet been labelled as such. Therefore, devoid of a label, postnatal depression could be said to not have (yet) existed. Language shapes how we see things, even how we feel and gives us a specific view of the world. So this posting with its title Impatiens broke my arm probably woke associations in your mind (as someone familiar with the states that the Bach remedies stand for) of something to do with speed or impatience. You are right. 18 days ago I got out of the shower, my mobile rang and, forgetting that I had wet feet, I sprinted to answer before my mailbox took over. I don’t have a carpet or a wooden floor in my flat, but shiny white tiles. I slipped and fell dramatically, the whole weight of my fall caught in my left arm and hand that I instinctively stretched out. The pain was excruciating and I knew that either my arm or wrist was broken. At the end of the day, along with the pain and my new plaster cast, I was simply grateful to live in a country with a good health care system. I'd received excellent attention at the hospital and the doctor was delighted "how well" I had broken my arm (not my wrist). His eyes glinted. It was an uncomplicated break. 




Soon, a policewoman came and took my report. I then got out of the car again and spoke to the driver of the car that had ploughed into the car behind me. I said I was surprised that he didn't ask if I was ok. He answered that he thought I was a just passenger. The tense way he was smiling and minimising things made me realise he was in 

A week after the attack I was feeling more balanced again. I was alone at Joe's place, (my partner), he was off on a business trip. On the evening before he left he asked, "are you frightened of spending the night alone in the house?" "No," I answered, which was true although the house is quite out in the country.








From Dr. Bach's Scleranthus description: Those who suffer much from being unable to decide between two things, first one seeming right then the other.
This happened on the way back to Gemany after a visit to the Bach Centre in May 2015. I am sure I was more sensitive to the happenings because of the place I had just visited. I had arrived early at the airport and was just sitting and feeling the hum of Heathrow, simply watching. Something of a luxury these days I think.
Emotional baggage is a metaphorical term implying a "load" that people carry with them. It means that negative feelings we have not let go of are affecting present behaviour and mindsets. That can be the pain of disappointment or rejection, trauma, any kinds of distressing previous experiences and their memories. Emotional baggage comes to the fore in relationships and is often rooted in childhood. This is where the beauty of the Bach remedies comes in. Using them, we ask “how do I feel?" Honest answers will uncover emotional baggage and lead to resolving it, for we alone carry our baggage, no one else. And we alone can let it go.
I was sitting quietly at Joe's place reading one afternoon when there was sudden thud on the window and, looking up, I realised that a bird had flown into the glass. I could see a few downy feathers floating in the air. Jumping up and shouting to Joe who was in another room, I ran to the balcony (his lounge is on the first floor) and lent over expecting to see a dead bird. A blackbird lay about 4m below on the wooden terrace, its right wing stretched out at such an angle that I was sure it was broken. I was already running downstairs when I thought of the rescue remedy and called to Joe to bring it from the kitchen. He joined me a few seconds later and gave me the pipette of the little bottle which he had already opened. I started to carefully approach the bird, I could see that the bird was breathing fast and its eyes were closed. I talked quietly and avoided sudden movements and anxiously took the bird into my hand. Briefly, I marvelled at its perfection, it was a young male bird, probably a fledgling from last year and it had a few white feathers around its beak. I quickly put several drops of the rescue remedy on its beak. Immediately, it opened its mouth and eyes and shook its head, its dazed eyes blinking at me. It did not panic in my hands. Luckily, neither its neck nor wing was broken. I gave it more of the remedy and then, still murmuring quietly, and moving softly, I stood up and placed it in the bushes for it to recover. Half an hour later Joe reported that the bird was no longer there.


Cherry Plum is about to throw her tablet PC on the floor any minute now because the programme she installed last week is not working. The online help portal is not helpful, not only that, the newly installed programme seems to have disturbed the whole workings of her computer and she cannot open any of her documents.